Just-for-Laughs

Group: Just for Laughs

Aging

Here's one that might be fun. The subject is "You know you are getting old when......"

List five things, preferably humorous, under that category.

Example:

You know you are getting old when your teeth go out more often than you do.
You know you are getting old when your dog has to let you out to pee.
You know you are getting old when the guy on the 10 o:clock news looks like he's 2 hours past his bedtime.
You know you are getting old when you try winding your quartz watch and get the time all off.
You know you are getting old when you have 5 pairs of Wal-Mart reading glasses and can't find any of them.


Don Yarber

5th January 2013


You know you are getting old when you go upstairs and then realise.......that you don't have an upstairs

Or when you start knowing what the sentence was about and then.............

Or when you spend all night doing what you used to spend doing all night (aah halcyon days)

Or when the barber spends more time cutting the hai in your ears then on your head

Or when an old person offers you a seat on public transport (hasn't happened yet)


John Ramsbottom

6th January 2013


when you start getting mail from the AARP
when the clerk at the Goodwill store gives you the senior discount without asking
when you just "don't get" the music the kids listen to these days
when you talk about how the next dog has to be smaller and easy to pick up
when your insurance agent calls to make an appointment to update your will
when you stop to think... and forget what you are doing


Warren Gates

6th January 2013


The week I turned 50 I got a brochure from a well known cruise company offering cruises for the over 50s

That was okay but inside was a 10% off bran flakes.

So sedentary and no bowel motion either huh.

Wonder what I'll receive next Pre Funeral Plans and invitation to Ballroom Dancing Lessons and the Bridge Club.


John Ramsbottom

7th January 2013


No, the invitations to the Grand Opening of The Misty Pines Senior Center, with options for full residence or daycare!


Warren Gates

7th January 2013


You know you are getting old when . . .

(1) Your reflection in the mirror seems older than you think you think it should be.
(2) All of your old friends ARE old.
(3) You have to admit that Oil of Olay can't work miracles any more.
(4) The word RUN is now a four letter word.
(5) Naps are now something you cherish rather than avoid.


Jim Miller

4th February 2013


you are getting old when

the only numbers in your little black book are
the doctors surgery,chiopractor and funeral directors

when you spend all night doing what you used to spend doing all night

when you get to the top of the stair you remember that you live on the ground floor apartment


John Ramsbottom

4th February 2013


As we age, our "forgetter" begins to "kick in gear". "My memory is bad, and getting worse every day. My wife and I make jokes about it. One is that if I ever get Alzheimer's, we'll never know the difference. The other I remember (ha-ha!) is that the best thing about having a bad memory is that "every thing is always new!."


Jim Miller

16th March 2013


You know you are getting old when you and your best friend keep e-mailing "OLD" jokes back and forth to each other about a 100 times.


Don Yarber

24th March 2013


Old age is not for sissies!


Harry Wells

4th May 2013


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