My-Writing-Prompts

Group: My Writing Prompts

jokes

today i heard the best joke in my entire life.....an elephant in the zoo looking over the fence sees a camel and says....hey dude you look real funny with a pair of tities stuck on your back and the camel says....funny coming from a guy with a dick sticking from his face.....
pls tell us your best joke


Ahmed Alireza

10th May 2013


Hmm, I can't think of one to top yours.


Asma Ahsan

10th May 2013


slightly subtle but funny if you get it.

A rabbit hops into a crowded bar goes up to the barman and asks for a pint of beer and ham
And cheese toasted sandwich.

About ten minutes later he returns to the bar, asks for another pint of beer and tomato and mushroom toasted sandwich.

As the night progresses, the rabbit shifts from beer to wine and then various types of spirits and continues purchases every type of toasted sandwich on the bar’s blackboard
menu.

Finally it get towards midnight and the rabbit is dancing round, kissing every girl in sight and singing at the karaoke. Then all of a sudden the rabbit falls down and dies.

A week later during a quiet time without any customers coming in the ghost of the rabbit appears before the barman and apologies for any distress his last hours on earth may have caused.

“It’s alright we all get a bit blotto from time to time. What I would like to know is how you actually died? Was it the beer?”

“No” replies the rabbit.

“What about the wine or maybe something in the spirits. I need to know otherwise other people may meet with the same fate.”

"no the alcohol was fine."

"Well did you over exeert yourself and have a heart attack or something?"

“Na I have heaps of stamina; don't go blaming yourself. My death was entirely my fault.”

“Okay then, what caused your death?”

“I died from mixing-me-toasties (myxomatosis)”


Leslie Blackwell

11th May 2013


not so much a joke but one of my favorite krusty the clown (Simpsons) moments.

Krusty - what about those T.V. dinners? Not only do they give you repeats but you also get reruns.

(classic humour)


Leslie Blackwell

11th May 2013


Ahme your joke is the best joke that I have heard in along time!!!


Analise Arto

10th May 2013


Well, this is the best joke that I've heard in a while:


A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“


Serena Burns

10th May 2013


Very good Leslie and Serena. Just goes to show you can be funny and still tasteful.


Deborah Boydston

10th May 2013


ok another one....kim kardashian is visiting the cardiogolist to check on her pregnancy....so she is laid on her back with her legs wide open and the doctor looks and examines her then says.... ok i think everything down there is ok....i think everything down there is ok....kim then says ok i heard you first time no need to repeat it twice....doctor replies i didnt......


Ahmed Alireza

11th May 2013


Please keep them clean.


Davide Castel

11th May 2013


Ahmed, why are you writing these jokes here? Just for my information. I think you have confused this website for some other place. This is a mixed crowd ranging from girls as young as 14 and elders in their sixties. The management has some rules about what to post here. You will have to read the guidelines for posting here.

You sound like a regular decent guy, so why put up jokes here that are crude as they don't go with the general atmosphere of the place.

They may ask you to stop writing for Scribeslice. This page was not a good idea. It's taking away from you any reputation you can build here as a good writer that I know you are if you stop being difficult.

Please be careful what you write here.


Asma Ahsan

11th May 2013


Okay, here is a old one that I think is very clever. Not meant to be offensive either.

'Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.

He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him A 'SUPER CALLUSED FRAGILE MYSTIC HEXED BY HALITOSIS'

Get it?


Davide Castel

12th May 2013


Don't say that.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is my favourite word in the whole world. I said it once on radio and never got the prize. It was a teddy bear. On valentines day too. The rj kept it for himself. :)

If I didn't love his show so much, and wasnt his fan at the time, I would have sued the radio station for my teddy,


Asma Ahsan

11th May 2013


Funny ha...ha...Did you like it though?


Davide Castel

12th May 2013


Your joke? Of course. :)


Asma Ahsan

12th May 2013


Hi All, not to rain on anyones parade, BUT, if we are going to have jokes that are not appropriate for all ages (such as the one that started this thread) can you please add to the TITLE of the post *Explicit Language*

I am working on something that will allow better sorting of age appropriate writing, but alas, it is not available yet - sorry :)


Jon paul Janze

13th May 2013


Ok, I just realised that I am the group leader, so I can lock this discussion so no one posts more jokes here. I started this group to write WRITING PROMPTS here, not jokes in bad taste.

I am locking this discussion. Thankyou all for participating.


Asma Ahsan

14th May 2013


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