Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

This is a very well written sentence, giving a lot, showing us readers what is going on with but a few simple words. Excellent!

Deborah Boydston Deborah Boydston
Recommendations: 45

Leonard, did I miss something, I didn't realize he had already been assigned a cell and had the time to place his belongings there.

Leonard a. Wronke Leonard a. Wronke
Recommendations: 23

Deborah, if you re-read this ...I hope you find that ommission is corrected.

Davide Castel Davide Castel
Recommendations: 39

What do you mean by May DEI? Do you mean 'May Day? or May Dio?'

Leonard a. Wronke Leonard a. Wronke
Recommendations: 23

Sorry, Lucy, it is a play on the word deity. I am using this abbreviation I created as the name of the Sapen(another play on a word, sapien) god. If I have offended anyone using this contraction I apologize. If offensive, please tell me another word that may be used as a god name.

Davide Castel Davide Castel
Recommendations: 39

No offense at all, just curious to the names used, but I see these are all related in the context of this story. as you gathered, I am not used to this type of storyline. But great effort on your part in writing this.

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Leonard a. Wronke Leonard a. Wronke
Recommendations: 23

Under the Double Star - Chapter Four


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And Fernando Makes Three -Part One Ira Furor Brevis Est

      As the "VIRAGO" left the dock, Paldor looked back to the crowd. Standing apart from them, Paldor saw a mirror image of himself, leaning against a staff.


     The other Keth was closer than Paldor first suspected. What could be the council's decision? Only time would tell. Putting this out of his mind, for the present, watching as the shore slowly receded, Paldor turned his attention to finding the accommodations that Neith had indicated she was going to provide for him. 1 comment


     True to her word, the crew member, that Neith had assigned this task, was waiting to show him the cell that was to be his for the voyage's duration.


      Never on a passenger ship before, Athene had walked around the deck a few moments after the ship's departure.


     Paldor approached her, asking how she came to be on the ship after she had stated she had not any choice after the pothouse incident.


     Athene declared, " Honestly, when I said I had not a place to go, I did not know that my sister would be in port.  I was on my way to do as you suggested, when I heard my name called."

     "I told Neith about the assistance you rendered in the pothouse. After hearing about the whole confrontation, your suggestion, Neith told me that I wouldn't have to book any transport out of that port because she would allow passage on this ship. It is from her, that I recieved proper attire, including this cloak."


     It being the logical choice, Athene went to the pouch, hidden inside her cloak, pulling it forth, and continued speaking, "Here is the muntarii you generously provided. "


     Then, Athene started pouring out the coins but Paldor stayed her motion, stating that she should keep them.


      " My concern was for your safety. You have that now. Matters not how you came to it." Paldor replied.


       As this conversation concluded, Paldor spied Neith approaching.



      " It might be a good time to ask where you are bound? " Neith proclaimed.


      " Yes,it might. Let us go below. I can show you on my charts. " Paldor stated, leading the way, to his provided cell, below deck, to retrieve the rucksack. 2 comments



     It took a few moments of perusal before Neith handed them back to Paldor shaking her head, negatively.


     " If I hadn't already promised you passage, I would never have. Your destination is in the forbidden islands. No ship has ventured there for as long as I can remember. I'll not ask your reason for it. If this is where your journey leads you, you shall be taken. May DEI, save us all ! " 3 comments


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