Bill O. farmer Bill O. farmer
Recommendations: 14

Do I see you using a double line spacing between paragraphs? That and the paragraph indention seem to be like a double take. Seek an editors opinion here on this. You put a lot of thought into your writing. Its a great read and almost so real I would want to believe it is non fiction. You catch the deception most people fall for so easily.

Leoni Carlson Leoni Carlson
Recommendations: 12

Thank you very much! I really enjoyed writing it, and there are elements of true experience in it, I just wove the rest around to illustrate.

Daniel Bird Daniel Bird
Recommendations: 47

I like the way you do detail; very smooth and well drawn out, no rush and no glitches in your style. I can ususally spot the little speedbumps that mar any piece, but I don't see any in your work. I like the way you deliver the images of simply enjoying a Bagel. And the way you convey your own little tastes, the simple way you seem to flow, is quite appealing. Very well done!

Don Yarber Don Yarber
Recommendations: 42

do you just have one sister? If you have more than 1, is this your favorite, or number 1 sister? Or are you saying, "one of my sisters" ??

Leoni Carlson Leoni Carlson
Recommendations: 12

I meant to point to one of my 'sisters' in this piece i tried to illustrate 3 sisters... I didn't want it too detailed, just so the reader would know I had sisters. Do you think I could have said it differently to make that more clear, was it unclear?

Don Yarber Don Yarber
Recommendations: 42

"a" prospective university. University not capitolized.

Don Yarber Don Yarber
Recommendations: 42

college not capitolized here.

Don Yarber Don Yarber
Recommendations: 42

I don't think University is capitolized when used like this.

Bill O. farmer Bill O. farmer
Recommendations: 14

gardian will need changing to guardian.

Leoni Carlson Leoni Carlson
Recommendations: 12

thanks for spotting that!

Don Yarber Don Yarber
Recommendations: 42

number one sister????

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Leoni Carlson Leoni Carlson
Recommendations: 12

Just A Bagel Please (or The Simple Road)


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This is all fictional! It's just a narrative built around a thought that has been in my mind lately.


Lunches with my sisters were always a very revealing experience for me. We'd all place our orders, and somehow what ever I picked was never up to their standards. They'd always pass some remark about me never being adventurous, or having tastes far too plain for their liking. I couldn't help it. I enjoyed the simple things. Even if it wasn't extraordinary to them, each plate that came carrying my order was treat for me, so I would order things like a bagel with cream cheese. To this day every time I have herb and garlic cream cheese with my bagel I feel like I've spoilt myself. Seeing the brown toasted edges with the butter melting as it came to me made me anxious to get my first bite. I guess they didn't understand that, my excitement for every detail. 3 comments


   There was something I would notice whenever we had lunch together. After ordering, we'd all sit down with our orders, and then the routine would begin. The sister nearest me would instantly pull out all the over fried pieces from her unpronounceable sandwich, the next would pick out all the tomatoes from her snob-like salad, and the third would keep complaining, "They put far too much salt!" and keep eating it all the same. It was in my early years watching my sisters that I became a philosopher. I seemed to think that from one's dislikes and queer habits at the table you could discover what a person might act like in life to come, what they might choose, or reject, and what they might selfishly disregard. 2 comments


   The same kind of thing happened in other instances of my life. In those days, it was a special occasion, when ever my father could afford to buy us each a little toy. Yet again, my sisters would remark when I chose something as simple as a ribbon to tie around my plait. I would feel like that ribbon meant the world to me, and I would thank my father for it. My sisters would look at me like I was from another planet. They'd all get plastic rings, or a string of fake coloured pearls.


   When we grew older, my sisters,  each in their turn, found boyfriends at school. Each find had to have specific requirements intact. I was the great disappointment to the sisterhood, when I let the shyest boy in school take me out. They told me, "You're settling! You could have the best guy in school if you tried!" Remember the bagel? I had chosen a bagel again, and they didn't approve. But, he honestly liked me. He was my good friend.


   Before long each of my sisters were being packed off for university. I watched each of my sisters through the years, as they chose a prospective university to go to, and I noticed the things that were important to them. They picked a course of study that would be financially sound, then they chose a popular destination, a city with a good reputation for amusement as well as academic renown, which I suppose was a bonus. Then I watched the most miraculous change of all. Each changed in some way, either in their appearance, or in their behaviour. I think what hurt me the most, was when they'd come back for a holiday, and they'd pat me on the head and make me sound silly, as if they knew me so well and knew I was never going to change. To me, at that point, they had lost any depth in their character, which I felt very bad for later because, I knew they were older than me, and had seen so much more of the world. 2 comments


   Then I found a passion. I loved the idea of being able to work in a field that I felt inspired in. So, I quickly found a college close to home that I could study at, and be qualified within 3 years. You can imagine my sisters reactions.  I didn't let remarks like; "Is that all you want to do with your life?" and, "You can be so much more!" really deter me any, but they still struck a cord in my heart that infinitely hurt me. Those remarks slowly wove their way into me, until I was so concerned about what the academics of my family, and the people I held important at my school, thought of me, that I really had no confidence, and I convinced myself to follow a second course of study. It was all in an effort to better myself academically. It took me years to come out of the mind set that, ultimately, limited me. It took a lot of time, and a lot of encouragement from the people who really mattered. Somehow I survived, and began creating myself as I saw fit. 1 comment


   Life went on, and I was happy. I loved working, I loved the little things that kept me cheerful in my life. By this time some of my sisters had gotten married, and for the most part I think they were genuinely happy. Again I noticed, as I noticed with lunches, and boyfriends, and university, that they each found a partner with specific requirements intact, that fulfilled a certain need or security, a certain trait that captured society in some way. I always found them lacking. There was some depth that I was craving that I just hadn't found yet. 1 comment


   My sisters had all married pretty young, for that time, and when I passed that age still single, I was inevitably pitied by my guardian angel sisters. And, when I finally found the love of my life, once again I received the same remarks I had lived with all my life; "He's nothing special!" Why are you settling?" and, "You know you could do far better!" By then thankfully I had grown thick skin, and I knew what I wanted in my life, so I didn't let those remarks bother me. 2 comments


   On my wedding day, one of my sisters took me aside, she had been divorced that year, and earnestly asked me, "You look so happy, but  why have you never wanted more?" I looked at my sister, for what seemed like the first time, with real appreciation. I let my true self show through my eyes as I faced her and said, "All I ever wanted was the simple choice, the one I knew was mine and that I could love with all my heart." She had started crying, and I could see that for once she understood me. "It's like the bagel right?" she said through jerks of tears. "Yes," I answered, "All I ever wanted was a bagel!" 1 comment


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