Don Yarber Don Yarber
Recommendations: 42

The only (.) period I found in the entire piece. Do you think it needs some punctuation to give pause here and there so your thoughts can be digested ?

Krystabel Harris Krystabel Harris
Recommendations: 8

lies.. there's 3 more up a few lines.. =P no but seriously, I couldn't decide whether to add punctuation or not, it was very much a poem that just came tumbling out, wasn't sure if adding punctuation would alter that effect more than I wanted it to or not =/

Krystabel Harris Krystabel Harris
Recommendations: 8

If you read it, each new line means a very brief pause, and each new verse means a slightly longer pause, other than that the words are supposed to just kind of come out..

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Krystabel Harris Krystabel Harris
Recommendations: 8

Won't Stop Spinning

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soul mates

Sometimes the world seems to spin to a halt
As I lay on the grass staring up at the clouds

And sometimes the clouds keep spinning
Even though the world is still

Those are the times that I wonder
What will happen to me

The world will move on
I will not be dwelt upon
For in the scale of things I am insignificant

I am just the partner loved and supported for a brief time
Then tossed aside and forgotten
Stripped of my dignity and pride

Sometimes I feel like a thin willow tree
Whipped around and tossed about
Pushed over and bent in two

When you touch me... I lose touch with myself

I forget what you did to me last time

I forget that there was a reason

That I didn't want you

To touch me again... 4 comments

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