Please login or signup to add a comment to this paragraph.


Add comment   Close
Don Yarber Don Yarber
Recommendations: 42

Making a Christmas Fruitcake


Share this writing


Link to this writing



Start Writing

More from Don Yarber

Being Too Descriptive
EVERYTHING I’VE ALWAYS WANTED IN A WOMAN
God loves idiots and little children.
Like an Old Barn
A Poets Fate

More Essays

Sam Lingham Sam Lingham
Recommendations: 2
Characters
Aaron Greene Aaron Greene
Recommendations: 8
Writing Blog 1: Beginnings
John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 23
Establishing A Character's POV - (Point-Of-View)
Richard Z. kruspe Richard Z. kruspe
Recommendations: 16
First Day on my Own
Sam Lingham Sam Lingham
Recommendations: 2
Sonnets

This is not original, I didn't write it, but I thought it was very funny!


Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality
Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK.
Try another cup just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver
Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.
Check the Vodka. Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the fekin window.
Finish of the Vodka and wipe the counter with the fekin cat /.


Link to this writing

Share this writing


Don Yarber's website: http://donyarber.wix.com/kip-yardley

Next: Hurry