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NOW


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I can’t stop thinking now. Time is a train; time is a movie…and forever is now now now now.


I can’t stop thinking now.


Now now now now now now now now now first light to last dark forever my consciousness.


Now impales me smack between my eyes. It’s the funny little spot my finger pushes around between my eyebrows. My mind wanders but this convergence of eyes and brows lingers. God drove this rubber stake into my presence right there; it is our mortality. It drags me forever forward, now that slippery devil that’s never where you left it. Stretching looking into the darkness straining for a vacation into yesterday or tomorrow bungeed snap slapped back now. Ouch. Flicked between the eyes.


NOW! demands, pragmatically taps its forefinger on the conference room table. Damned now always wants me. Now swallows my tomorrows and spits my eye to today. 1 comment


We are united now on this one train now now now now now now clickity clack our whole giant world stuffed onto one car rolling down the tracks. Sorry, the doors are locked. Ah, now is not the only car it’s one of an endless train and what if I could go to the next car or the car behind; what if my now is five minutes ahead of your now, or five minutes behind? We’d both be there and lost to each other, my prime now out of phase with your prime now. I’m squishing my brows eyes and nose together to make the jump. Nope, never works and now my brain hurts with the implications of phased nows.


And now if I could jump on top of the train and run way back a hundred cars, I could find the now of my great grandfather and ride along for awhile. We’d talk and look out the windows; what scenery his now passed my train car far ahead had passed before me. Still, even in his now, life is now now now now now now down the tracks will reach the spot where my home car once was. He doesn’t but his remains do; the dusty dead world of his now car still riding down the tracks with its lights out.


Now I’m thinking of the flickering frames of an old movie. The projector clacks now now now now now twenty-four frames per second. I’m sitting in the theater blinking my eyes in tune with each frame. I’ve compartmentalized the flowing now of my train into bitsy little freeze frame nows. I run upstairs and grab the reel from the projector and let it unroll down the lobby stairs. Each frame a now built from scratch, torn down and rebuilt with just a tiny difference and shot for the next frame; super eight claymation movies made in my childhood.


I should be thankful my forehead ligamented now held while I dream through time. I may pull hard enough one day to drag the stake out of the now, escape time’s train and away I’ll go rolling down the bank chasing some parallel train never to be seen by mine I love now, my train’s lights fading away and me running unleashed into the darkness. I hope someone will take care of the now I left behind.


Now sitting up in bed at 5 am I must be leaving. The Mayans said now now now now now now   the end December 21st 2012.


No blip; just a ceaseless now now now now now now.


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