John Ramsbottom John Ramsbottom
Recommendations: 5

Never had a dared 'to' go......perhaps terrify your dreams in the future suggests that you will escape from your hunter

John Ramsbottom John Ramsbottom
Recommendations: 5

him! may emphasise the importance of the hunter to the story

John Ramsbottom John Ramsbottom
Recommendations: 5

sure as Hell 'would' be now, (perhaps)

John Ramsbottom John Ramsbottom
Recommendations: 5

....to this (?) perhaps

John Ramsbottom John Ramsbottom
Recommendations: 5

great piece although as a dialoguei woul have had shorter sentenced to further create a sense of pace in your escape. There are references to your heart etc. but consider more in your return to survival instincts as an animal being pursued

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Nicholas Morin Nicholas Morin
Recommendations: 5

Play Things


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She had a friend.

The pounding of my heart felt so distant. I couldn't conceive the idea that anything around me was truly there. I forgot that I was running. I forgot why I was running. The motions of every step were lost behind tears.


I had no destination in mind. Never had I dared go so far into the thick forest. At night it would hide as a solid wall. The sounds it emanated would terrify and haunt my dreams. But now not one horrific scream or howl was heard as I made my way deeper.
I began to stumble. I must have tripped. I fell hard with my face forward and palms out stretched. The dirt and rocks cut deep. My head throbbed relentlessly as I struggled to collect myself. 1 comment


I made my best efforts to stand, but every attempt proved useless. The hem of my dress was snared by the wicked woods. My bare feet were bloodied by the harsh terrain. My face scarred by branches I hadn't realized were in my way. It all began to feel real; It all began to come back to me.


I was running from him! 1 comment


I wish I knew who he was. I wish I knew why he insisted on this dreaded game. A game? Is that all this was to him? Perhaps it is all just a joke. A sick and twisted joke. Surely such evil souls are only conceived in thoughts and stories and never in the living, breathing word. Yet here I am.


Whatever the plot of this madman's delusion I knew I must move forward. He would find me otherwise. Though stained and battered, my white dress shone bright in contrast to the grays and dark greens of my hellish enclosures.


Through fear I caught my second wind. I tore at my dress with my teeth as a fox would it's ankle in a trap. I was desperate and I was hurt, but I refused to be a victim any longer. If I was never strong before I would sure as Hell would be strong now. 1 comment


The dress was just beginning to tare when a thunderous shot roared nearby and echoed violently through the landscape. Every bird left its perch, every critter fled through brush. The jolt of fear had broken me free and I took off on all fours trying to regain my stance.


I could taste blood now. It only helped fuel the truth that this was real. It was sickening as I felt it drip from my lips, but I had no time to be distracted. A second shot. He must be getting close.


My heart leaped as though it was never caged. Each beat threatened to break free from my chest. I would just as soon die by this exertion as I would by my hunter. Who am I to him?


If only I could recall what had come before this chase. Memories were replaced by sharp pains and white lights when I tried to think back. Would knowing change a thing? No, I must drop these wonders and know only survival!


I would continue to run to freedom wherever freedom finds itself. Time however was making me it's fool. I could feel myself growing weaker. I failed to hold together any pattern of events. What had passed and what was now occurring mingled into a mess of broken thoughts.


No tree stood out. No bush was different from the next. These woods were a maze with no solution. I was running with only life as my goal. Was that a third shot I heard? No, I only recalled the first for just a second. Was there a second? I was dizzy and I knew I would be sick if I gave myself enough time to be.


It was not long before I fell again but this time turning to my back before landing hard. The force winded me and my sight went black. It took me a moment to realize when my vision cleared again for the night sky met with my eyes as a wave of pure shadow.
No honest light would ever reach so deep into Hell after all.


Yes, this was Hell. Surely nothing on Earth could compare to this. He was my Devil and he would find me. I knew this would be my end and maybe now, after pushing the limits of my life I was prepared to let it go. I laid there quiet, save the soft whimper of weak breaths. No life flashed before my eyes. All my memories remained hidden or taken from me. I just waited and I listened, for him. 1 comment


Thank God I listened. I had not heard it before but in the silence I could.
Not far away from where I was at rest I could hear the breaking of waves on rocky shores. Perhaps this is where my freedom was. I knew it must be, and with my last ounce of strength I stood again. I did not feel a single step until I stood at the height of a great cliff with the welcoming waters singing my rejoice.


I was desperate and I was hurt, but I refused to be a victim any longer. If I was never strong before I would sure as Hell be strong now. 1 comment


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