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Julian Osterman Julian Osterman
Recommendations: 3

Rectouterine


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This writing contains explicit content and is only for adults. You have been warned.

I want a skinny girl with scars who'll probably forget my phone number
I want to meet her in Japan when she's caught stealing televisions
I want an elephant escort and lounge lizard escalator
I'll meet in her my dreams in my purple night attire


She's gonna make somebody big
While she sits at home smoking green leaves
They'll go out and shine bright with that woman on their mind
And at night they'll sing a naked lullaby


There's a time for everything, true
This time I think I'll say I love you
There's a time for everything, true
If you call me a liar I'll call you Moulin Rouge


She's perfect, so flaunt it
She wants it, so got it
She wants anything but me
And me I come alone
I'll buy her a giant house
So I can live alone


There's a time for everything, true
This time I think I say I lost you
There's a time for everything, true
You don't pick up the phone whenever I call you


I am perfect androgyny
I am comfortable and friendly
I am perfect company
I am unlike anything science deems unique


And if I were to fall down I'd bleed
To explode at the seams
To melt at the hint of a hint of common knowledge
And if I were to fall down I'd scream
To average a mean
Because I know I and I know me
I'd never touch bottom


It's about time I ripped out these pages
To burn down the bookstore and scatter the ashes
My tongue is tied to the whipping post and my hands are spread out
Like the man on the cross but without the courage of perfection
To bleed out a dream
To dry on the floor


"You wanted to love
But you're just a whore"


This nightmare can't end
And questions won't stop
Till bones reach stones
And nothing can tear easier
Than my attempt at pleasing her
So scared and alone
And assuming the death
Of not a damn thing at all


And if I were to touch you I'd bleed
A knife to the seams
A run in the hose of reality I could do without
And if you were to touch me I'd scream
I so hate living in the dream
When I awake I won't know what to do about


The time I ripped out those pages
Scribbled on the pictures and regretted my actions
To have love and lost and loved and lost again
To spend my life hiding and showing nothing but
A blank slate and a blank stare
And I stopped having to pretend I don't care


I'm fucked and I know
A headache for a headcase
I'm just a headache for a headcase
I'm just a -


A regret
A bloodstain
To bleed out a dream
Aborted on the floor
I wanted love
But I'm just a whore


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