John Tucker John Tucker
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perhaps. Immediately, he recognized the hooded, cloaked member of his race the high council had commanded him to find.

John Tucker John Tucker
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consider -- The other figure should have been the Primae he heard was injured and near death.

John Tucker John Tucker
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Keep it simple. Paldor anticipated his question. "This one...."

John Tucker John Tucker
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maybe -- When Paldor paused, A'th'n .....

John Tucker John Tucker
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Two, to finally eradicate..." I'm not a big fan of alliteration, but it sounds better like this. :-)

John Tucker John Tucker
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perhaps -- Idon, taking..., apparently saw enough... you put the reader in Idon's POV, reading his thoughts. Only have POV's for the main characters.

Leonard a. Wronke Leonard a. Wronke
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he is a main character as future chapters will show.

John Tucker John Tucker
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drop the 'that'. drop the 'instead too.

John Tucker John Tucker
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Very long sentence. Consider breaking into two.

John Tucker John Tucker
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...but they had once been the most...

John Tucker John Tucker
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Their plan would change that.

John Tucker John Tucker
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drop the ...as she saw it -- it's implied by gesticulated.

John Tucker John Tucker
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try -- The resolve showed in her eyes.

John Tucker John Tucker
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perhaps -- I hope it is not in vain.

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Leonard a. Wronke Leonard a. Wronke
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Under the Double Star- Chapter Twenty


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And Fernando Makes Three -Part One Ira Furor Brevis Est

      At the sound of this new voice, Akromas turned in the direction from which it


originated.


      The voice came from one of the two beings standing before him.


     Immediately, he recognized the hooded, cloaked member of his race he had been


commanded, by his high council, to find. 1 comment


      The other figure should have been the Primae that he was told should be injured 1 comment


and near death. This one was neither. Momentarily perplexed by this, Akromas  started


to query.


     It was Paldor, who anticipated his question, replied, "This one is the Primae. A 1 comment


rejuvenated embodiment as our archives have documented. Your original information


regarding her physical appearance was accurate. A ritual caused a transformation."


     As soon as Paldor concluded, A'th'n picked up the conversation. "Ulla, "brother" 1 comment


of Paldor. It is a pleasure to meet another of the Keth."


    A'th'n continued, as she noticed F'lisa, "Ulla, to you as well, Leukan. I need your


assistance in what I need to do. One to free you, everybody from their present


captivity. Two, finally, eradicate the CHTHONIAN blight from this world. However, 1 comment


first, what is your name."


     " I am F'lisa . You ask that I assist. I ask how?"


     Before A'th'n can answer, Idon, only hearing that A'th'n was the Primae spoke 1 comment


up, "Ulla, to you. I don't believe you are the Primae. I've seen her upon my ship.


She was an oar mate of mine. You don't resemble her."


     A'th'n looked at Idon and stated, "True, I do not. You do remember a certain


captive who was, briefly, seated next to you. A blonde-haired, bruised, bloodied,


young woman."


     "Aye, I do. What of her?"


     "Look closer at me. Who do you see?"


     Idon, taking a closer look at the Primae, did see enough of the  blonde woman 2 comments


left in the Primae that his expression changed from questioning, to disbelief, then


shocked surprise.


     He replied, "By Tur, it was you. How is this possible?"


    A'th'n, knowing that this was not the time to exclaim, turned, instead, back to 1 comment


F'lisa saying, " Before you say nay to assisting me, I will explain what I require from


you. Will you allow me this request?"


     F'lisa, though startled, a little apprehensive, slowly acceded.


     A'th'n, after she received this affirmation, even looking pleased, started to


explain.



      The CHTHONIAN council chamber was almost empty.


     Once it would have been teeming with a hundred members; all working in unison to


maintain the illusions necessary, especially the required ones to disguise


their true forms, to control/kill their prey(for to them all others were nothing but


lower life forms to be used, abused, refused then discarded). 1 comment


     After the repeated Primaes' offenses against their kind, there remained only


two left but they once had been/still were the most powerful, psychic adepts of their 1 comment


species.


     They were too few to accomplish what they desired, the total control of this


backwater planet; as well as the one who created/violated them.


   The plan they had would change that. 1 comment


   Once the Primae was removed, her powers absorbed, they could funnel it through their


mental channels to control the world that had shunned them.


     The first half of the plan was  being accomplished - the Primae's location. 1 comment


     The final half- the Primae's destruction needed only to be implemented.


     As the last two CHTHNONIANS  continued discussing  what needed to be done, the


elder adept remembered that the Primae was rumored to be but a ghost of herself; all 1 comment


sickly and talon less.


     All the pieces started to fit.


     Soon. Very soon, their goal would be reached.



     A'th'n  had completed her explanation.


     F'lisa, after hearing and trying to comprehend it all, was very pale, unsure of


its success.


      She kept shaking her head, muttering to herself.


      These actions went on for what seemed an eternity, F'lisa  gesticulated as she


worked out all the sides of the problems/solution as she saw it. 1 comment


      As quickly as they came, F'lisa's  muttering and hand motions ceased.


      The resolve in her eyes was evident. A calmness came over her. 1 comment


      F'lisa spoke, with determination, " If the only way to achieve your goal is as


you say, I accept your request. My only hope that it is not in vain." 1 comment


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