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Jessica Benton Jessica Benton
Recommendations: 2

Steel to Skin

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She had a friend.

As the midnight black ink flows through the pen and onto the paper, she is overcome with emotion. She is texting him. Him whom she refuses to admit her heart desires most. He is the one never ceases to support her unlike so many others. She did something stupid. She’ll admit that. But, low and behold... HE was there. Even though he didn’t approve Jordan still was there.

As she is writing, something catches her eye. Her reflection in the darkness of her phone’s screen. She stares at it for a few moments unable to comprehend what she is seeing. As she comes to realize it is her reflection, she hears a deep voice echoing from within her heart. A voice not her own but that of God.

        “ You are beautiful and one of a kind. You’re loved and appreciated by many
even though it doesn’t feel like so. It’s not your time to meet me face to face yet.
You deserve the best and the best is right in front of you go find it and fulfill
your great purpose that only you can fulfill.”

After rethinking what she was just told, she realized it was the first time she was ever spoken to by Him, God. His timing was impeccable. She sat awestruck, unable to think, move, breathe.

        “Is this real? Am I dreaming?” She says aloud to herself. “Of course its real you fool.”

She starts writing of the day before.

The “Pathetic Pirate” as I call him is one of the most caring but stupid people I know. He says “We need to talk.”

So what do I do? I say “Sure let’s talk what is bothering you?”

“ I love you but we never talk anymore and it your fault. You only talk to me when I am upset and never tell me you love me anymore.. What is that all about? Cuz honestly I refuse to believe you actually do..”

“NOT TRUE!!! I do love you and just cause I’m having a rough week and don’t really wanna talk to anyone cause I don’t need more drama doesn’t give you the right to accuse me of crap that isn’t true... Get your facts straight then accuse me all you want but don’t you dare accuse me without knowing what you're talking about.”

“ Look babe I’m sorry... And I love you... If that means anything... =(”

“Don’t even try right now.”

It’s 11:30 P.M. now and she has tried everything possible to relieve her pain...

It just happens.. Its not premeditated or anything.. Just BOOOM it happens...
27 times that cold sharp metal pierces through her delicate skin. Pain and yet relief oozes out of her body in the form of blood.  She whimpers softly to herself with every stroke of the destructive blade. After the 27th stroke she is satisfied. Upset and full of regret but satisfied. Tears pour down her face and fall to the pale red surface of her skin..

She crawls into bed, sets her alarm and slips into a deep yet useless slumber..  The next day she hurries to get herself ready. She has to tell Nichole her best friend and guardian angel. The more she discusses it with, the more she realizes how many people truly care about her and how many will never leave her side.. By the time the day is over she is so overcome with emotion that all she can do is sit in her room and cry. Even that she barely has the strength for.

The next night her close friend Jonah calls her and prays for her and again she realizes how much she is loved. Her best-Band buddy Evan tells her she brightens his day everyday. Nichole tells her without her she would be more mental than she already is. Jordan tells her she also keeps him running. With each comment made by those she loves she grows weaker and weaker. Until all she can do is sit and weep. As she is able to gather herself, a song by Christian artist Nichole Nordeman starts playing on the radio. “Brave.” Realizing that she’ll get through it and that people with lesser fortune than she have gone through worse she puts a smile on her face and goes to sleep.

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