Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

last line a little awkward. could try " Yet long ago they did fly." also consider :"to meet the ones who never die"

Livy Chen Livy Chen
Recommendations: 0

I like the last two lines, they're beautiful.

Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

again it reads awkwardly. "There is a place no one can see Where the dead never roam free They left us here a long time ago Though just where they just did not know." Something like that.

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Chris Costanza Chris Costanza
Recommendations: 6

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I must go far away.
To run, to fly, to flee,
To see the sea.
To meet those who never die,
Yet it was long ago that they did fly. 2 comments


I long to sprint, to jump, to soar,
To laugh, to cry, and to break free,
Despite my captor's plea.


There is a place no one can ever see
Where those who never die roam free.
They left us here long ago,
Though to where they did not know.   1 comment


How I envy them so!
Walking, laughing, talking,
With those like Michelangelo.


It is the place
that I long to go.
I need to see
Those who be.


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Next: Son of Artemis Chapter two.