Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

lower case "A's" would probably be better - a family... a massive...a big tree...a light orange coloured female with brown eyes. Then there were the two cubs climbing over Bristole at play.

Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

new paragraph for each character: (paragraph 4) Yes Mother. (Paragraph 5) you and your... (Paragraph 6) we are..(IMO: though it is your story and you can format it anyway you choose.)

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Brooklynn Fox Brooklynn Fox
Recommendations: 4

The Cheetah Family


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She had a friend.

      In africa as the sun was rising there was A family of cheetahs. Under A big tree shading A massive male cheetah with blue eyes named Kane and beside Kane was A light orange female color cheetah with brown eyes named Bristole. Then two cubs were climbing over Bristole and were play fighting. 1 comment


       "Germia come here to mother." 1 comment


       A male cub with brown eyes and dark orange colored fur walked up to Bristole.


       "Yes mother."  "You and your brother Eisle play nice." "We are mother you can ask Eisle." 1 comment


       Another male cub with blueish greenish eyes and light orange colored fur walked up to Bristole and Germia.


       "We are playing nice mommy we are i promise." 1 comment


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