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Al Clark Al Clark
Recommendations: 4

Dumb Bass


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She had a friend.

Talk about life imitating art! (or vise versa) This is a somewhat tongue in cheek narration of an off road adventure my family shared a few years ago. The actual events took place over a three day period. After I wrote it, my sister sent me to a link for a Canadian country singer named CORB LUND. His song, entitled, TRUCK GOT STUCK and accompanying video, fit my story to a Tee!


Well, truck number 1, driven by grey haired old guy, gets stuck cause grey haired old guy listened to skinny lil twerp kid number one riding  in the back who wanted to get muddy. Truck number 2 driven by blonde haired guy gets stuck trying to unstuck truck number 1. Truck number 3, driven by dark haired guy gets truck number 2 out quite handily. Truck number 3 gets stuck cause dark haired guy thought getting truck number 2 out was too easy, and proceeds to drive right where grey haired guy tells him NOT to. (Are you with me so far?)
So blond haired guy, dark haired guy and grey haired guy get in truck number 2, and set off to get a tractor to pull trucks 1 and 3 out. Grey haired guy realizes blond haired guy does not have enough speed to make it over the muddy trench leading to where trucks 1 and 3 were stuck. Blond haired guy proceeds to get truck 2 stuck right in the only access point to trucks 1 and 3. Grey haired guy, blond haired guy, and dark haired guy set off to get in hot blond Lady number 1’s van, wisely parked at the road a mile away. Hot blond Lady kept repeating the words DUMB bass, causing grey haired guy to wonder what mentally deficient fish have to do with this whole mess.
In a rare moment of common sense and clarity, grey haired guy decides to call tow service who eventually shows up with tractor number 1...While tractor guy number 1 assesses the situation, officer guy number 1 shows up, and advices grey haired guy, blond guy, and dark haired guy they are all guilty of trespassing. While the kind officer let all three drivers off with a warning, he DID seem to have the same fixation on dumb basses as hot blond Lady. (side note..officer guy number one DID almost manage to get patrol car number 1 stuck getting off two track..officer guy number 1 declines help from grey haired guy in getting patrol car 1 out, saying, QUOTE " Hell no, I seen what happens when you guys try and help someone get unstuck!" Officer guy 1 then guns it, and patrol car one jumps on to the road and disappears. Meanwhile, tractor 1 easily pulls trucks one, two, and three out. I am thinking this area must be good fishing, cause tractor guy number one kept muttering about the dumb bass's in the area.
Trucks 1, 2 and 3 then proceed to return home, where grey haired guy, blond haired guy, and dark haired guy enjoy cold barley sodas while recapping the whole series of event. Hot Blond haired Lady continued with her obsessive mutterings about fish before heading off to bed.....any questions?


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