Michael Starr Michael Starr
Recommendations: 0

Great, good. Great good! You've transcended the heliosheath! The clouds are glowing with a beautiful pink aura. What I mean to say is, this is a great phrase or stanza. Coherent. Looks like it's concise and all squished up, as if you were yourself bundled up in the snow you introduce. To improve: play with the spacing.

Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

I would even go as far as to say goody-goody great good,

Michael Starr Michael Starr
Recommendations: 0

Pretty cool stanza. No suggestions.

Michael Starr Michael Starr
Recommendations: 0

I'm seeing the drama, as if one were to clasp one's eyes and point with tears, of the second line. Cool stanza. Other than hear yee, no... no suggestions!

Michael Starr Michael Starr
Recommendations: 0

Like the repetition of "I may have been happy once". Strikes me here, in this fifth stanza. Point taken, voice in second line! Shining through a bit in the third line. Well spoken in the fourth. Penetrating in the fifth.

Michael Starr Michael Starr
Recommendations: 0

Final guess: You are... a siren!

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Clare Martin Clare Martin
Recommendations: 12

I May Have Been Happy


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I may have been happy once, when nothing made sense.
I had many questions to ask, but they were unheeded.
I believed in fairy tales, maybe aeons ago.
I heard elves whisper against the cold snow
To grant me the warmth much needed. 2 comments


I may have been happy once, when I wrote songs.
Back then, the years would fly only so fast.
I fought bravely and vanquished my foes,
Held my plastic shield against the shadows
And, like a fool, I thought it would last. 1 comment


I may have been happy once, before I witnessed the world.
The death and suffering around every bend.
The anger, frustration and pain in one’s work,
A chance to heroically end all the fury and hurt,
To feel nothing when it comes to an end. 1 comment


I may have been happy once, when I loved someone.
Our words meant nothing to anyone but us.
I’d laugh at you when you’d fall face down in the dirt.
I’d hold you and whisper words when you were hurt,
The words that only we understood. 1 comment


I may have been happy once, when I feared the shadows.
I’d keep the lights on and doors open at night.
I’d follow the sun wherever it would lead
And avoided the darkness in fear of its siege.
Now I am afraid of the light. 1 comment


I may have been happy once, though it’s hard to recall.
Now I see the true destruction of this land.
I see what I’ll become when my years carry,
Know that all challenges I may not parry.
This is a world I, at last, understand. 1 comment


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