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Jordan Newman Jordan Newman
Recommendations: 15

Forgiveness is not a virtue i seek


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i see angels above me, i see demons below me, fighting over heaven.
i loved her more when i was sober.
i don't want a second chance.
love starts with that of a flickerin' cigarette
i swear i could feel your love before i knew your name.

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Sorry for lack of punctuation etc. Was written quickly on a tablet then copied and pasted. I havent been on here in a while due to lack of internet access... I apologize for my lack of attendance, sorry guys. I miss you all!! =)


lately, i find i need to concentrate all my strength to prevent myself from having another devil-may-care bender / i'm truly shocked that seeing through sober eyes the pain i caused to all who love me that that alone couldn't end this eternal battle / but that must be because i know just how easy it is to slip off the path of the righteous and squeal like a pig, to shrill a note so delightful /


since i am being honest here, telling no tales, selling no story, speaking honestly, not uttering a single lie / i can confess that i found comfort in the bottom, down under, in a world cut off from reality i felt close to  finding a cure / which is why i stayed so long, why i've jumped back down once or twice before / truth be told, there is only one thing i found to be certain and that is to return gets harder than i remember /


from what i've heard in childhood fables and the stories i've heard shared by the occasional stranger / is that life has so many various experiences it is no wonder why we are all always seeking out some new sense of pleasure / yet, love is the epitamy of all we get to feel and if it's real, the sensation is unexplainable / not that i could try if i desired to for out of every woman to give me their hearts, i fear that i may be so broken that to understand romance is just not possible /


this is a burden i've yearned to share for so long but never felt the time was right, not even in a whisper / the fact that there has been so many ladies is both a blessing and a curse, for all who caressed my lips with their skins, silky, smooth, texture / would soon perish by my words, soon enough they'll figure out that a trap lays behind my smile / still, in the start, each one was an angel of mercy, to see not me for me but for whom i could perhaps one day be / i just worry i passed the grace peroid of being a late bloomer, perhaps i had somehow lost my potential / maybe, i guess the ladies figured, with a little tendering touch i will no longer be a bitter monster /


i am grateful for the effort they made, humbled by their willingness to even stop to care / each one had managed to be just enough to stop me from going too far, to far / if i had known they had a price to pay i may have tried to decline their selfless offer / such a heavy toll, the price a piece of their mortality and it wasn't the piper they paid; but the grimm reaper /


some were lucky and found me to be barely damaged at all and then there are the ones who witnessed me literally die / still with hope they let my soul suckle on the teet of their spirit, and i was so thirsty for life i could empathize with a vampire / how i managed to get enough will power and stop myself before i drained them dry is nothing short of a miracle /


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