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Jessica Benton Jessica Benton
Recommendations: 2

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This writing contains explicit content and is only for adults. You have been warned.

Went on a rant.. I am ok. don't worry. I opened my archives and the last sentence of this made me laugh so I figured I'd share it to see what you all thought of it.


In this house
I am a hazard to myself


They would have never found out
Had I been more careful


Now they know


They know about the selfharm


They know about the slipping grades


THEY KNOW


They can’t but they do.
I want to run away
I want to leave this place.
I want to go somewhere where I feel safe
Where I am happy
Where they can’t find me


Maybe I’ll finally be ok.
Maybe I will be safe
Maybe I will be happy


MAYBE


I need to get away sooner rather than later.
I fear if I wait to much longer I may not make it.


Everyone thinks I am happy.
Everyone thinks I have a perfect life.
They think I am O.K.


If only they knew.


If only they knew the pain my heart feels every second of everyday.


If only.



I am too much of a coward to kill myself… I know that somewhere someone truly loves me and for them I am still here. But only for them. Not for my parents. Not for the bullys. Not for the friends. Not for the teachers. For those few and VERY far between people.. If they even exist. I pray to God constantly. I am never heard or answered. The few people who know about my selfharm think I do it for attention. THEY’RE WRONG. My father thinks I am a stupid ditsy blonde. No joke. His exact words were… and I quote… “How much longer do you think batting your eyes and being a ditsy blonde will get you through life.” The funny thing is he’s wrong. THEY ARE ALL WRONG. I don’t want attention. I don’t bat my eyes. I AM NOT A FUCKING DITSY DUMBASS BLONDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I AM ME! IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING PROBLEM WITH THAT GO BARK UP SOMEONE ELSE’S TREE CUZ THIS GIRL DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE.


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