Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

"steadily inhaling and exhaling" would work just as well.

Deborah Boydston Deborah Boydston
Recommendations: 45

Yes that would work but I was sticking to 8 syllables per line until the last line of each stanza.

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Deborah Boydston Deborah Boydston
Recommendations: 45

Adrift in Content (third draft)


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So this is a rewrite of a previous work. I am always doing rewrites, usually I just edit my old work but I decided to start posting some of my rewrites as new works. I think it is beneficial to see the how a piece evolves.


I close my eyes and feel the breath
Of life, steady, inhale, exhale,
Immersed in tranquil quietude
Doors and windows open 2 comments


My mind begins to drift in seas
Of calm, contemplating, aware,
I hear in the sweet solitude
Truth and inspiration


I sense my heart pulse steadily
A mystery, me, revealing,
I grasp here in this silent world
My rhythm is unique


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Deborah Boydston's website: https://commaful.com/play/deborahboydston/?r=deborahboydstonhttp://

Next: Speed- Part 1 of Nightingale Trilogy