Davide Castel Davide Castel
Recommendations: 39

Aston again. Or is he supposed to be Fenton?

Deborah Boydston Deborah Boydston
Recommendations: 45

Should that have been "...do as you're told."

Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

another typo. Never mind I'll take care of it.

Davide Castel Davide Castel
Recommendations: 39

In Pt.1 it was 'Tania' not 'Taniya' typo?

Deborah Boydston Deborah Boydston
Recommendations: 45

Just my opinion but the second sentence of this paragraph is a little confusing to read. It almost seems like it starts with an incomplete sentence or thought: "Thought most of the dust leaves to report the accident to Tania...." Thought they what? Or did you mean that she thought the dust leaves went to Tania but some of it stayed behind?

Deborah Boydston Deborah Boydston
Recommendations: 45

I thought it was 'Tanya' instead of 'Tania'.

Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

oops that was a bit of a typo. It was meant to read - though most of he dust leaves (departs) to report the incident. Yes "thought" does not make sense. Sorry about that, will make the edit.

Deborah Boydston Deborah Boydston
Recommendations: 45

"...Fenton in so dramatically" probably another typo but I think it should read, "...Fenton so dramatically." or could be written "...Fenton in such a dramatic way."

Deborah Boydston Deborah Boydston
Recommendations: 45

Should "...half-dozen swats of so." be "....Half-dozen swats "or" so."

Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

yes, my bad. Story needs another edit.

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Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

Fenton and the Dusty Fragments. Part Two


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She had a friend.

Part two of this story. More conflict as Abigale ups the ante with her batterfly threat


“Okay that’s enough. You can come back over here now,” instructed Abigale in a slightly calmer tone but remained staunch in her disapproval as the boy returned looking notably weary. “Do you understand why I put you into timeout?”


“I was being cheeky?” he offered “I’m sorry, Aunty…I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”


“I don’t know what’s got into you lately Fenton. You’re usually so well behaved but today you’ve…” 1 comment


Abigale halted in mid-sentence and stared intently at the living-room windows. She drew a disgruntled sigh after about 30 seconds and shifted her attention back to her nephew.


“What’s wrong?” asked Fenton , trying his best to avoid her disapproving stare.


"Did you hear that?”


“Hear what?”


“That tapping noise?”


“No,”


“Listen carefully…do you hear it now?”


“No. I can’t hear anything…honest.”


“Fenton , when you told me you had nothing to do with that ornament getting broken you were telling the truth weren’t you.”


“Yes Aunty Abs…the whole truth and nothing but. Why?”


“Stay where you are sweetheart.”


“Why?”


“I’m just going to check something.”


“Why can’t I come with you?”


“It’s better that I check.”


“Why?”


“Because it might be something dangerous and you could get hurt.”


“Dangerous? I’d better come too and protect you.”


“I appreciate that but you’re my responsibility not the other way round. Please be a good little boy and do as you’re told.” 2 comments


Leaving her nephew to brew irritably, Abigale wandered to the opposite side of the room and drew back the curtains slightly.  She peered out into the darkness, checked over her shoulder and waited for a moment when Fenton  was busy wiping away his tears, then tapped the pain with her fingertips.  


“What was that?” asked Fenton , curiously.


“Batterflies!” she affirmed, closing the curtains and hastening back to him. “You lied to me.”


“I never touched the vase…honest Aunty I never touched it.”


“The Batterflies beg to differ. They wouldn’t be here if you never touched it.”


“I didn’t do it (sob!) I didn’t do it…please don’t let them get me Aunty (sob!)
please!”


“We’ll see about that young man, come with me…now!”


Deafening her ears to Fenton ’s protests she snatched his left hand, marched him into the kitchen and slid the third draw to the left of the sink open.


“Please Aunty Abs (sob) not the wooden spoon, it hurts!”  


“Hush sweetie, stop fretting. I’m not going to hit you…though goodness knows you deserve it.”


“No I don’t…I didn’t do anything,”


Abigale retrieved a torch from the draw and instructed him to hold still whilst she shone the beam on his forehead for a few seconds then slowly shifted it down to his slippers. She then turned him around and did a quick head to ankle sweep and drew a disgruntled sigh.


“Just as I suspected?” she affirmed, replacing the torch “Pixie-dust.”


“Pixie-dust?”


“Pixie dust, it’s all over you. Though most of the dust leaves to report the accident to Tanya some of it stays behind sticking to the culprit and acts as a beacon for the Batterflies.” 4 comments


“Don’t let them get me Aunty! (Sob) Don’t let them beat me with their wings…look okay I admit it. I broke it. I didn’t mean to, it just slipped out of my hands and broke. I’m sorry Aunty. I’m really, really sorry (sob). Tell the Batterflies that I owned up and to leave me alone. Please Aunty, help me!”


Bingo, thought Abigale mentally patting herself on the back, though feeling guilty for having upset Fenton in such a dramatic way. Stage one was complete and it took all her will power to resist giving into her emotions. 1 comment


“I understand sweetheart, and I know you did not do it on purpose, you just have to promise me you’ll be more careful in the future.”


“I will Aunty, I really will. I’m sorry…It’ll never happen again.”


“I appreciate your honesty Fenton  and I forgive you but I’m afraid it’s too late as far as the Batterflies are concerned.”


“You said they won’t attack me if I owned up.”


“You had heaps of chances and opportunities to do so before they arrived.”


“Well…even if they do attack I can just own up to them before they get a chance to hit me.”


“Oh they’ll stop alright but not before at least a half-dozen swats or so. They need to make their journey here worth their while you know.” 2 comments


“And you’re just going to let them attack me, even though you know it isn’t fair. I thought it was like your job to protect me from getting hurt and stuff and whatever.”


“Of course I’m going to help you, but you’re going to have to do exactly what I tell you.”


“I always do what I’m told,”


“Yeah right…first of all you’ve got to get all that Pixie dust off you; off your clothes, hair, skin and even teeth. Dust like that settles everywhere and you cannot be too careful. Best you go have a shower and clean your teeth. I’ll get some clean pyjamas for you to wear and those awful Batterflies won’t so much as lay a single wing on you.”


“No worries Aunty Abs.”


“Well go on off to the bathroom with you and don’t forget to clean behind you ears.”


Abigale lightly swatted the seat of his track-pants with her open palm to motivate haste and then watched on as he ran off towards the bathroom. She drew a heavy sigh. It had been a long difficult night so far and though she had obtained a confession from Fenton  she still had a lot of work to do.    


Phase Two had really only just begun.  


  
  
Continues


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Next: Adrift in Content (third draft)