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Don Yarber Don Yarber
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A Humorous View of Divorce and Desparate Housewives.

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From my blog Unreal Reality TV

Divorcing the Desparate Housewives.
The Real New York Desparate Housewives.

If housewives are so danged desparate why don't they get a divorce?
Divorce isn't the end of the world.

Walter Winchell (according to his good friend, Will Rogers) said:
Marriage is a habit, divorce is a necessity.

I've always wondered why there isn't a divorce ceremony like a marriage ceremony. It would go like this:

"Dearly beloved we have gathered here today in solemn witness to the Divorce of Tom Smith and Mary Smith who solemnly swore that they would love, honor and obey each other right up to the moment when they both hired attorneys to represent them here today. Are the attorneys for the couple present?"

"The scriptures remind us that man shall not live by bread alone, great writers remind us that no man is an island. He isn't even a continent or a Town Hall, let alone an island. Man was not meant to live his life alone. When this woman, Mary Smith took this man, Tom Smith to be her husband she apparently did not understand that togetherness meant her and her tea party bridge playing friends and his togetherness meant him and his golfing, beer drinking, deer hunting buddies."

"Do you Tom Smith divorce this woman Mary Smith to have not for richer for her and poorer for you after child support is deducted, for better for both of you and poorer for the children, in sickness and health for as long as you both do live? Yes.
Do you Mary Smith divorce this man, Tom Smith, and once and forever swear not to wash his dirty underwear nor his automobile to never fix him another pot of chicken soup, make his bed or bring him a beer? HELL YES.

Whether thou goest I promise not to be and wherever I goest aint none of your danged business. Beloved, we have gathered today to witness this glorious moment. What man has put asunder, let heaven forbid should be ever put back together for their sakes. For richer for the lawyers and poorer for Tom Smith, we hereby declare this couple to be lawfully and finally divorced."

"Hold on Mister Smith, you may NOT kick the bride!"

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