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Don Yarber Don Yarber
Recommendations: 42

THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD TODAY THAT:


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Not all original.  A compilation of my own and other peoples ideas about the economy.


THINGS ARE SO BAD NOWADAYS THAT:


1.  Car thieves are stealing tricycles.
2.  Ants at picnics bring their own food.
3.  Clinton hired George W. Bush as his chauffer.
4   Paris Hilton’s price is now $5 and a box of cornflakes.
5.  America’s got Talent hired Yogi Berra as a judge.
6.  Airlines are giving you peanuts NOT to fly.
7.  Carnival Cruise Lines are using kayaks.
8.  Tommy Hilfiger wants MY name on HIS shirts.
9.  Tommy Lasorda weighs in at 110 pounds.
10  Cadillac’s latest model is a pedal car.
11. Jay Leno’s sports car is a skateboard.
12. Tiger’s golf clubs have hickory shafts.
13. NAACP’S new motto is “What a terrible waste to mind.”
14. Food stamps are printed on toilet paper.
15. Redneck deer hunters are killing mice.
16. The Internet is two cans and a string.
17. Facebook is changing to Facepage.
18. People can’t twitter anymore, now they cheep.
19. Text messaging is done with two sticks and a log.
20. Cops quit gathering at Dunkin Donuts .
21. The tires on my truck are so bad it tiptoes.
22. Churches don’t pass the plate, they pass the bathtub.
23. Professional Baseball changed the rules to two strikes and your out.
24. Professional Football quarterbacks have to know how to throw pumpkins.
25. Bird watchers are watching flies.   .
26. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
27. Jewish women are marrying for love.
28. Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
29. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer
30. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names
31. A truckload of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico
32. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty
33. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting
34. People in Africa are donating money to Americans
35. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate, do you know how many kids are starving in the US ?"
37. Motel Six won't leave the light on
38. The Mafia is laying off judges
39. The economy is so bad the Mafia is on Welfare.
40. Obama got a job as a chauffer for the Pope.
41. G.W. Bush hired on as an airport Security Guard.
42  Dick Cheney is pumping gas at Chevron on Hollywood and Vine.
43. Bill Gates holds his corporate Christmas parties at Dairy Queen.
44. Indians are building casinos in teepees.
45. Las Vegas won't comp the King of Saudi Arabia.
46. Viagra is the new street drug.
47. The Dodgers want to sell Chavez Ravine back to the Marine.
48. When you fly on an Airline you have to give the flight attendant peanuts.


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Don Yarber's website: http://donyarber.wix.com/kip-yardley

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