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Leslie Blackwell Leslie Blackwell
Recommendations: 21

And Fernando Makes 3 Pt 9 Shaken Leftovers

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(REPLACES ORIGINAL UPLOAD) Okay here we go again, yet another episode of the “And Fernando Makes Three”.  Part Nine adds a couple more acronyms for use with the character Fernando. Hope you enjoy it.

Despite his fear of the Bogeyman from Begoniakai, Levi had stuck with the original lie about going to the movies and given Katrina a brief description of a film he had already seen. Confessing to his forbidden rendezvous with Ricky would only have led to serious trouble. Besides he had already phoned Hannah (an ex neighbour who went to the same school as him) earlier in the day, and she had agreed to back up his alibi if Katrina should ever ask.

"Fernando's having a bit of a rest upstairs, but he'll be down soon, sweetheart. When you see him I want you to say "Buena tardes" to him."

“Bruno Tar-Days?”

“Buena Tardes,” she corrected patiently. “It’s Spanish for good afternoon. I thought it would be nice if we learned some Spanish.”

“So, I take it that Fernando’s still here then?”

“Of course he’s here. He’s not like the others Levi, a real man of commitment is our Fernando…Do you not like him?”

Levi considered his response carefully for a few moments and finally surmised with a non-committal shoulder shrug.

“Wimp,” berated VOM in a frustrated tone, “You missed your chance to tell her how you feel,”

“He likes you, sweetheart,” affirmed Katrina, crouching down to eye level with him and cupping his chin in her palm. “I would never let anyone into this house who didn’t. You just need a little time to get to know him. I’m sure you’ll soon be the best of pals.”

“Like me and Travis,” he retorted sullenly “That’s what you said when he first came round and I ended up in the hospital with cracked ribs.” 1 comment

“Travis was a mistake, honey; I admit that, but not all men are like the way he was. Fernando is a kind-hearted gentleman who wouldn’t hurt a fly. He’s a real gentle giant, so to speak. Please try to get on with him…for my sake at least.”

Gentle?-scoffed VOM.

“I’m very good at trying,” explained Levi “My math’s teacher reckons I’m one of her most trying pupils.” 1 comment

“I’ll bet she does,” laughed Katrina, as she released his chin “Now I want you to get out of those wet clothes, have a shower and dress up again for diner. We’re having leftover Conejo al Salmojo.”

“I don’t like eating poor little bunny-wabbits.”

“Well I’m afraid you’re just going to have to eat it or go to bed with an empty tummy…your choice.”

Levi stared back at her, his mind reeling with sarcastic comebacks but he knew better than to push his luck too far.

“Okay, I’ll eat. My tummy gets lonely without food,” he agreed. VOM seized the moment and before he knew it the backs of his hands were up by his chin and he was bouncing around like a rabbit singing: “Won wabbit won wabbit won won-won…”

“Stop being silly,” she grumbled “Now, come on bugs, go get ready for tea.”


“Bless us, oh Lord and these, thy gifts, that we are about to receive from thou bounty,” prayed Levi with his hands clasped “through Christ our Lord…Amen.”  

“Good boy,” slurred Karina, patting him gently on his left shoulder, then continued in Latin “Ad coenam vitae aeternae perducat nos, Rex aeternae Gloria. Amen.”

“You’ll both get to Heaven one of these days,” sounded VOF (the Voice of Fernando) “even if you do sometimes eat meat of Fridays, like last night.”

“Is your Conejo al Salmorjo hot enough, Levi?” inquired Katrina, ignoring Fernando’s sarcasm “I could always reheat it a little longer in the microwave if you like.”
“Na, it’s all good, Mum,” assured Levi “warm as a hot-cross bunny.”  

That's the thing about salted down possum, it's just as good the second day - commented VOM, (borrowing a quote from The Beverly Hill Billies), and Levi could not help but giggle.

“What’s so funny?” grumbled VOF

“Nothing,” he replied “Just remembering a joke Hannah told me today.”

“What was the joke, dear?” she probed.

“What type of car would Tarzan drive?” he asked, choosing an inane schoolyard gag at random.

“I don’t know. What type of car would Tarzan drive?”

“A Mazda Tree to Tree,” (a word play on the MAZDA 323 car)

“That’s funny,” tittered Katrina.

“Life’s just one big joke to you…isn’t it Levi?” interrupted VOAF(the Voice of Angry Fernando). “You go gallivanting around with your disreputable friends when your room looks like a prop from The Munsters!”

“I’ll clean my room up tomorrow,” promised Levi, just to calm the ever building tension.

“You’d better, boy, or you’ll sorely wish you had!”

“That’s enough, Fernando!” chided Katrina, thumping the table with the side of her clenched hand “Can’t we just have one family meal without you turning it into a major drama?”

Silence enveloped the room and they ate quietly for the next few minutes until…

“Levi, don’t shake the table…please” came VOF’s tactful request.

“I’m not shaking it,” retorted Levi.

“Who is?”  

“No one” affirmed Katrina then added “Earthquake!”  

Levi quickly crawled under the table. Seconds later all hell broke loose.  Cutlery danced upon crockery. Ornaments rattled on the shelves and Deezeneeze jumped off her posy on the Naughty-Chair and scampered for proverbial hills.

The quake’s intensity eased and the floor finally stopped shaking, but Levi’s legs continued to tremble. He hated Earthquakes almost as much as thunder and the Tunnel-webs (leathery-brown hunting spiders with large legs and half orange/half black abdomens) that Delilah would sometimes threaten to drop down the back of his tee shirt if he did not do her bidding.    

“It’s okay, sweetheart?” affirmed Katrina, in a calming tone “earthquake’s all finished.”

“Do ya reckon that was a six?” he asked as she gently helped him out from under the table.

“I’m not sure,” replied Katrina,

“Perhaps you could find out for us from Geo net, on your computer thingy,” suggested VOF.

Levi gasped as he turned and saw Esau standing in the dining-room doorframe, dressed in his suit and holding a small teddy-bear in one hand. He recognized it immediately as Oscar; the beloved cuddly-toy/best friend, that had once kept Levi safe from thunderstorms, earthquakes and all manner of Bogeymen.

Esau smiled gently and waved then abruptly vanished, along with Oscar, and Levi was left looking at an empty doorway. A cold shiver ran down his spine and he no longer felt motivated to bother with the computer. He absently took Katrina’s hand and stared over toward Fernando; sitting rigidly with his arm folded totally unaffected by the shaking except, for his glasses which now sat slightly askew on his big nose.  

“I’ll check it later,” said Levi, shifting his attention to the Dining room’s minor damage. Some of the pictures that hung on the walls were slightly crooked, one or two ornaments had toppled and once again Katrina’s tablecloth was stained with spilled wine, far removed from the aftermath carnage he had seen on television, of the Canterbury Quake

“Good boy,” complimented Karina “Best we all stick with the after-shake plan … I’ll check if kitty is alright and you tidy up here the best you can.”

“No worries, Mum.”

NEXT: PART 10 Prelude to a Visitation

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