John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

space between pale and face. Substitute gaunt or pallid for the second pale to avoid the echo. Delete the ' Was it' and start the sentence with ' A figment...' consider making the last sentence -- The unfamiliar face made me feel... deletes the passive filters.

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

delete 'back' in first sentence. Reader knows it's a mirror.

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

delete the 'that' in the second sentence. 95% of 'that's are unneeded. substitute 'ones' instead of ghosts in the last sentence to avoid an unneccesary echo.

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

period after bed. Delete the comma and cap Back...

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

instead of 'was living' consider lived. Delete the 'had' in the third sentence. Start the fourth sentence with 'We had... instead of There was a .... delete the had in the last sentence.

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

space between pale and face.

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

second sentence wayyy clunky. consider -- I was so confused by this stage. I returned to the slumber of my dreams. second paragraph -- start with I approached a... consider -- ...chattering people, getting the impression... last sentence -- consider -- I noticed the crowded room became hushed, as if...

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

second sentence -- Their looks of awe, or horror, made me think I'm intruding. They all 'wore' the... Why do they all have the same expressions imprinted on them? How did I get here, and why? space between pale and faces. After ...pass by. Not one that looked....

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

delete the 'that'. delete the 'But.'

John Tucker John Tucker
Recommendations: 2

delete that's in the first and fifth sentences.

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Davide Castel Davide Castel
Recommendations: 39

Is That A Ghost I see before me?


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She had a friend.

This was written many years ago, and is also a repost.  At that time there was much confusion in our world and my dreams took on an eerie effect. Perhaps this time, I may get more readers?


The day dawned bright and beautiful...It usually did, for I was alive, but this day I awoke with a strange feeling of apprehension.


     I remembered going to the bathroom and looking into the mirror. A pale face confronted me. A face so pallid, it did not appear human. A face so lucid, it was almost transparent. Who and what was it? Was it a figment of my imagination or perhaps just a bad dream? The face staring back at me was not my own and it made me feel slightly uncomfortable, for I was not one to scare easily.   1 comment


     It silently stared at me, the sadness spreading, the hopelessness seeping and chilling my bones. Was this a guilt trip? But why should I feel guilty? There was nothing wrong with using the bathroom during the night. It happens ... and even more frequently now. 2 comments


     Was that a ghost I saw before me?  I was so transfixed, I could not pull away. I still had pleasant recollections from my youth; reading the comic strip about Casper, the friendly ghost, who could pass through walls and was completely see-through. Of course there were other unfriendly ones too. No, I didn’t like them at all. 2 comments


     I willed it to say something, to let me know who and what it was, but it remained silent and just kept staring back at me. I wasn’t really frightened, but thought that perhaps, if this were a dream, I should return to the safe haven of my warm and comfortable bed. Back to my usual slumber of dreams, some sweet and some otherwise. 2 comments


     At this point I should explain about my present situation. I lived in an idyllic world where freedom is encouraged. I shared my home with a loving husband and two children who made their parents proud. There was a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes to wear, clean air to breathe and drinkable water from our taps. We worked diligently towards our goals, so why shouldn’t life be easier?   2 comments


     The next night, I was greeted by that same pale face for the second time in a row. I felt the same chill and I valiantly called out, ‘Is that a ghost I see before me?’       1 comment


     Still no reply. I was quite confused by this stage. I return to the slumber of my dreams.  I am in another dimension, not unlike the twilight zone. Somewhere, between reality and sleep, I became entangled in a web, so distorted and weird, that Shakespeare’s Macbeth came to mind.

     I approached a large pearly gate, which swung open on my arrival. I walked up a short flight of stairs leading to a white door, which also opened automatically. I entered a large hall filled with chattering people, getting the impression that a meeting of some kind was about to begin. I noticed the crowded room become hushed, as if something dramatic was about to happen.   2 comments


     One by one, each person turns towards me.  Their looks of awe, or horror, made me think I am intruding. All have the same identical pale faces as that ghost in my mirror.  They wore masks with the same expressions imprinted on them.  Was this a masquerade?  How did I get here and why was I here? All unanswered questions, for the moment.
    
     I walked down the aisle, in very slow motion it seems, for my legs and arms felt heavy. Rows and rows of identical palefaces turned to face me as I pass by, and not one that looked familiar.  I walked towards a pair of welcoming, outstretched arms and was finally ushered up the steps and onto a stage. 1 comment


     A voice says Please make our new member welcome.’ The crowds are now cheering me on. Am I a celebrity of some kind?  What is this group I seem to have joined?  I felt lost and in a daze. 1 comment


     The day dawned bright and beautiful...It usually did, for I am alive to see yet another day. By evening, that now familiar pale face, peers back at me from the mirror, for the third night in a row.  A face so sad, so lost and so disturbing. Yet, it is still not my face. My face is plain, yet full of hope. My face radiates energy, not chills. My face has human colour, and is not drained of blood and definitely not translucent.  My face is animated and alive, not expressionless and dead.  


     I know this is the world I live in. A world which promises me nothing, anymore. A world that has declared war. Nuclear war. The leaders will not listen to its people. We have no say on the effects this war will have on us.

     The changes had been subtle at first. So subtle, that I hadn’t even been aware of what is going on, because each day still dawns bright and beautiful, and I am alive.  Life continued.

     Slowly, my eyes begin to give me trouble.  They are becoming slightly opaque, my vision is blurring and I see double.  My memory begins to deteriorate, and I start hallucinating and confusing the day with the night. My skin is blotchy and my senses, impaired.  I begin reciting this little ditty, over and over again, like some obsessed lunatic. 1 comment


        My life is filled with wonder and pain
        The wonder of life and the pain of the rain
        I live to the fullest when life is the lowest
        The sting of the acid, polluting our crop
        How long will I last in this world of disease?
        A world that has taken my freedom from me?


The air is filled with poison, my lungs are breathing gasses, and the pain is quite intolerable.
    
     As the day turns to night, I am back on the stage, the large cheering crowds with their expressionless pale faces, await the entrance of their King. I stand facing a golden throne with plush red velvet seating, and then ... He walks in. His face is bright and beautiful as He sits upon His throne, dressed in radiating white robes, wearing a bejewelled golden crown, and holding a Shepherd’s Crock. I am ushered forward, as He, my maker, looks at my approaching shape, and says in a loud and melodious voice:-


    ‘Is that a Ghost I see before me?’


The day dawns bright and beautiful...No, Mr. Bush, let’s NOT have a war.


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