Davide Castel Davide Castel
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The spider trapped in a glass case, is a great way of describing your own feelings, as you did.

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Clare Martin Clare Martin
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The Glass Case

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soul mates

Based on one of my newest, and closest friends, I find I often forget the times where I had absolutely nothing compared to the life I live now. As dark as my life has been, I'm always a good friend and always worth having a chat with. Enjoy.

I saw a young boy today sitting, completely alone, in the corridor.
His eyes just stared blankly ahead of him. He looked quite sad.
A book sat in his lap. He'd obviously lost interest in the words
Or perhaps the noise of the happy, squealing kids was too high
For him to concentrate. I know how awful that is. The book was
"Eragon,". I haven't read it but I know it's a fantasy, which I love.
I wondered why this boy was so alone. He was quite handsome,
Which, sadly, all girls in my school seem to value before all others.
And suddenly, as though the ground collapsed beneath me,
I was taken back to another time.

It was my first day in secondary school. I was trembling with nerves.
My hair was braided down my back and a painful weight hung on my shoulders.
My brother was with me, nodding to the teachers. I felt so safe alongside him.
His strength was endless. Nothing could happen to me while he was around.
I wanted to grip his hand, but Mum told me about not pestering him.
He was growing up and so was I. Here was the absolute proof.
Then he left and the safety was gone. I was completely on my own.
The teacher seemed expressionless. He led me into the room.
It was a science room, and there was a large spider in a glass case.
The kids stared at me, some smiling at me, some glaring with what looked like hatred.

While the teacher spoke, I stared at the spider in the glass case intently.
I wondered if there was any chance it was still alive, in that hot, steamy cage.
Perhaps it could still move, but it had no space. Perhaps it could still breathe.
I didn't understand, even then, how oxygen worked. I kept waiting for a leg to twitch
Or for the case to fall and break, have the monster leap around the room
Among all the screaming kids who, like me, were new, and perhaps just as afraid.
The girl next to me smiled when I looked over and I smiled back. I'd made a friend.
But the heat in the room was building up, and I felt sweat trickle down my face.
Tears filled my eyes but I willed them not to fall. I felt as though I was that prisoner,
I was that spider locked in that glass case, and I had a master who took no notice of me. 1 comment

It was a relief to leave the room only for a second, as I came into a seemingly endless maze.
It was crowded and I remember my knees buckling as I collapsed into a pile of coats.
When I tried to get up I was pushed back down, a blanket wrapped around me.
They said I was having a fit and that I was scaring the others. How could they not know?
I was one of them! I was just as afraid! I wanted to sit up, but I was restrained.
I tried screaming, but to no avail. I was fine! Could they not see? My tongue throbbed
And I saw blood all down my grey shirt. I'd bitten into my mouth during my seizure.
At that point, I longed for nothing other than to be somewhere else, in some distant world.
I didn't want to have friends, I didn't want to talk to the family that was currently
At war with itself. I didn't want any responsibilities. I could handle my own fits.

I go back to the times when I was alone, sitting in a corridor with a book.
I had a sandwich and a drink next to me, but I couldn't keep anything down.
I tried to lose myself in the words but the happiness of others distracted me.
I didn't know how to make them like me. I was too unusual. Was it the Autism?
Did it come off me like an aura of light? Did it ward others off, like an electric fence?
I tried to be friendly, but I was too angry. It took next to nothing to set me off.
I cried way too much, spent too much time trying to shut myself off from others.
I saw my brother with his friends, gathered rowdily around a table to prove their power.
I saw my other brother with his friends, standing in a corner, discussing music.
I thought "I'd rather a world with nobody than a world where everyone ignores me," 1 comment

I thought all this as I looked at the boy. I wondered what it was he wanted.
Did he want to be left alone? Did he want somebody to sit by him and talk to him?
I remember the periods during my first year when I longed for a friend, but had nothing.
I also recall when I just wanted to be alone with my books. I was taunted, hated for it.
I don't see into minds, but I'm a human, just as he is. He can't be thinking too differently.
I walked over to him, introduced myself and asked him if he wanted to talk. He smiled
And said he was okay. I ignored this and stayed with him. He was very easy to talk to.
He loved reading and writing, just like me. He loved video games, just like me.
And now I know that somewhere, in the three years that have passed, that depressed,
Young girl who wanted nothing but a friend is now giving to others what she never had.
And that's what makes me love myself. It's what helps me sleep better at night.

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